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Quote · 11 days ago · 0 people like this ·

Everyone's looking for sex but not looking hard enough. Here's the problem - you have to attend stuff. Like, if there's a sex party - attend. If there's a meetup in a pub or club - attend. If someone appeals to you - meet them. See, the problem is, we're deep into the age of the iTwiddleBox. People believe that if they download a thousand apps and keep twiddling, twiddling, twiddling, they will be rewarded with plentiful sex. It ain't gunna happen.

Sorry to be the bringer of bad news but as someone who spent his life enjoying sex, multiple versions of sex, I have to inform you that you need to make some effort. (Effort - google it).  You keep twiddling, twiddling and twiddling and yet still no sex delivered to you in a square white box with coloured dots on. 

I've done all I can to make things easy for you yet still it is too hard for most of you. You are waiting for the sex fairy to make your life complete. Sorry but you are going to be waiting a long time. You may as well join the Catholic Church, at least you'll get to fiddle with young choir boys. The pope will defend you if you get into trouble.

I don't know what you're doing here, why you have joined, but I don't see a lot of sexual joy going on. Was it a 20th century phenomenon? All over now save for the snoring. All I can say is, Thank fucking Kryst I was alive during a time when people met for sex and had fun.

OK, you've wasted enough time reading this. There may be messages on your iTwiddleBox. You wouldn't want to miss any of them. 

I wish you all good luck with your twiddling. May the God of Twiddle look favourably upon you and suck your dick while you're asleep. Because no one else is likely to.

Ciao4now, Kelly

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